It’s not you, it’s me

The time was 11:30pm on a Monday night and I was watching another episode of the Bachelor. Now for those of you who aren’t as familiar with the Bachelor, it is a reality t.v. show where 30 girls compete for the heart of one eligible Bachelor. You might be thinking that the concept of the show is a recipe for a disaster, and while this is true, it has been a longtime guilty pleasure of mine. But, I digress.

This particular episode that I was watching was a hard one to watch, as Arie had sent Tia (one of the top-runners) home that night. And while the tears and the raw emotions present in that moment were overwhelming, what struck me the most was her reaction. She automatically reverted to feeling as if she had done something wrong and that was the reason she was being sent home. But the fact of the matter was that Arie had formed a stronger connection with some of the other women in the house.

This got me thinking, how many times do we as humans, especially women, think about what we could have said or done differently to prevent a relationship from going south? How many times have we replayed a situation in our heads play-by-play to find fault in something we had said or done, which resulted in the other person leaving (or so we believe)?

Sometimes I think back to all the relationships that didn’t work out and wonder what could have been done differently for them to have lasted longer. I find myself entertaining the idea of what I could have done to make the relationship work. But the more I think about this, the more I realize that those relationships just weren’t meant to be. Although they were great while they lasted, they were better suited to be a sprint in a world of marathons.

I guess what I’m trying to say is — you don’t need to beat yourself up over a failed relationship. Just because it didn’t work out, doesn’t mean it is your fault. Often as you grow and evolve as a person, something that made sense a few years ago or even up until yesterday won’t necessarily make sense today. That’s just how life works. And if the other person is not on the same page as you, it is time to let go and find someone on the same level as your current self. That’s all.

And in Tia’s case, girl, if your man’s heart is with another woman —  that’s even more reason to let go!

 

 

 

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